PERFECT LOVE

 “Love Never Fails”. What a wonderful promise that is! To know that Love never fails gives so much assurance when we begin to expend our love, and especially when we spend it on the unlovely. But there is a question that must be asked before we start thinking that our love will never fail. That question is this: “Is what I am practicing really LOVE?”

Love that is undefined is not love at all, but license. That is because it too easily becomes something that goes by the name “Love”, but is actually something quite different. Love as a word has meaning. Love has a definition. That definition depends upon where you get it. If you use an English Dictionary you may find something like “A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude towards a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness”, “A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair, the emotion of sex and romance”, “A sexual passion”,  “Sexual intercourse”, “A love affair”, “An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or house”, “A strong predilection or enthusiasm as a love for language”, or even “In sports a zero score in tennis” All of these are from the American Heritage Dictionary, and are representative of most dictionaries.

No wonder people think it is love when they engage in passionate but ungodly activities. No wonder many people diminish the word by saying they love their animal or their car. It is because they have chosen the secular source for their definitions. Now I do not expect to restore the English language to its puritanical form. But I do expect to rescue such an important word by seeking a proper definition from the One Who Is Love … GOD!

The “Love” that never fails is first a motive. Then it calls for action. Proverbs 10:12 shows two powerful motives for action, Hate and Love, and includes the result that certainly follows each motive. “Hatred stirs up strife: but love covers all sins” If you are thinking what I am, then you realize that Hate has also been hijacked. I probably reminded my son fifty times that he did not hate his vegetables, but merely “disliked them”. I do not think he has been convinced to this day. Still, I am happy when people modify hatred so that it results in less damage, but I am unhappy when Love becomes watered down to mean less than what Scripture requires.

So I conclude that all is not love that goes by the name. I Corinthians 13:4-8a is read at nearly every wedding ceremony. So if you value the Words of our Lord Jesus and every author of New Testament truth, you will realize that our modern word “Love” has become a substitute for such things as “Lust”, “Affection”, “Desire”, “Infatuation”, and “Passion”. But in that Corinthian passage, before we ever get to the part in verse 8 that says “Love never fails”, we have the lengthy explanation of the characteristic parts that make up true love. Without these parts it will most certainly fail. Let me list them so that you may compare them to your idea of  “Love”: Beginning at verse four, 1) Love is Patient  2) Love is Kind  3) Love does not Envy 4) Love does not Boast 5) Love is not Proud  6) Love is not Rude 7) Love is not Self-seeking 8) Love is not easily Angered 9) Love does not keep Record of wrongs 10) Love does not Delight in evil. And then besides all that is added the positive side of love … 1) It always rejoices in the Truth 2) It always Protects 3) It always Trusts 4) It always Hopes 5) It always Perseveres.

Only after these 14 components are realized can we call it LOVE … Wow!

Illustration:  You want to build a structure that is guaranteed by the builder to “Never Collapse”. It will never fail. But when you see the architect’s plans, you realize that if he uses the materials listed, it could not possibly bear up under the intended load. Another builder shows you plans that include all the necessary foundations and supports adequate for the load. You recognize that this structure will never fail. Likewise the difference between false love and LOVE.

That is why we must take the time to preserve Bible words according to Bible definitions. Again, “The love that never fails is a love built upon the truth of the Word of God”

The Bible presents us with two loves. I would not call them two kinds of love, but rather two stages of love. We find both in I Peter 1:22 where it says Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently. The love of the brethren translates the Greek word PHILADELPHIA, a compound of two words, love and brethren. The second love is the word AGAPE which is probably familiar to you already. The Apostle Peter wants us to understand that there is a difference between these two stages of love. PHILOS (Strong’s Dictionary # 5384) in Greek is a love that develops from close contact with another. It has the idea of “Friendship” in it. My personal definition of this word is “A love based upon an experiential knowledge of the subject”. Imagine your mother in law coming to stay at your house for a week. Just thinking about it drives you wild. Then she ends up staying for two years. Gradually as you get to know her, and as she watches the kids, cleans the house and cooks meals to relieve you and your mate to enjoy life a little more, an attachment develops that you never would have experienced had she not “invaded your space”. Then suddenly she decides to go stay with your sister. You and your whole family are filled with tears because this one you dreaded to have stay with you has now become attached with this very personal love. AGAPE (Strong’s # 26) on the other hand is “A love based upon the inherent worth of the object”. This is the love commanded of every Christian by God and the Lord Jesus when He says “This is my commandment that ye love one another”. If you find out someone is a Christian, you must love them. You may never get to know them personally at all, but still you must love them. That is the nature of AGAPE love.

One more important thing about Bible love is what it means to the one hearing it. Please hear me at this point. When you say to someone “I Love You”, understand that they have every right to believe from that moment on that you will never do anything to deliberately hurt them. They will know that you will always act with their best interest in mind. Again, how wonderful that love is!

I want you to take notice in the Gospel of Luke 6:27-35 just how serious Jesus says our relationships should be. He says such things as: “Love your enemies”, “Do good to them which hate you”, “Bless them that curse you”, “Pray for them which despitefully use you”, “Turn the other cheek”, “Give your coat also”, “Don’t ask for goods back”. Then we have Luke’s version of Jesus’ Golden rule “And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise”

Jesus then make the proper comparison between the Christians’ practice of love and that of the “sinner”;
“For if ye love them which love you, so what? For sinners also love those that love them”
“And if ye do good to them which do good to you, so what? For sinners also do even the same”
“And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, so what? For sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again”
Finally Jesus makes it all but impossible for the “carnal” man by adding: “But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.”

Now I do not pretend to be expressing perfect love at all times, and I certainly cannot always say that my desire to love is fail proof. But what I can say is that I do not want to simply throw in the towel and make believe that what the world calls love is the real thing. Recognizing our weakness in this area is a good start towards correcting it. Which leads me to make one more point for you to think about and hopefully agree with me. In the Proverbs 10:12 passage above I pointed out the contrast between hate and love. That would indicate that the opposite of Love is Hate. And perhaps in the overall scheme of things that is true. But for those of us that have been born again in Christ, I rather think that we should consider the opposite of love to be selfishness. That makes it easier for me to tell if I am really loving or just playing the game. With this understanding I am forced to ask myself if my actions are always for the well-being of the one I love or do I have a selfish motive behind my expression?

I could not end this article without making reference to the perfect Love of God in Christ. Everyone is familiar with John 3:16 and the part Love played as the motive for God to send His Son. And almost everyone is familiar with that great portion in the book of  Philippians chapter two verses 4-8 where Paul tells us about the mind of Christ while He was yet in Heaven with the Father. In love He left the Divine Comfort to become a man in humility, and emptied Himself of that Glory. He loved so much that He acted and he acted in a totally unselfish manner! Paul would have us to;

Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus Who, being in the form of
God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God.  But made himself of no reputation,
and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And
being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto
death, even the death of the cross.

We can be sure that Paul wrote about the mind of Christ in order to appeal to the Philippians, one should consider Chapter four, verse 2: where he appeals to two ladies who were apparently at odds with one another.   I beseech Euodias, and beseech Syntyche, that they be of the same mind in the Lord.

     [You may have heard of the version that modifies their names to fit the situation. …                            I beseech “Your-odious” and “Soon-touchy”, that they be of the same mind in the Lord ]

Let me be clear. I do not want to be seen as rebuking others individuals or the Church generally for failing to love one another. I am sure that most do have a genuine love for the family of God. I am merely asking that we examine the Scripture to make certain that we are not allowing the word “Love” to go by the wayside simply because we do not know how God is defining it.

This is my commandment, That you love one another, as I have loved you

Pastor Hayden