Doubts & Fears

How often we use a word, and have a mental picture of the concept behind that word, perhaps even read about it in the Bible and yet somehow may not really understand fully what it means. Take for instance the word "DOUBT". Many people assume that to doubt is tantamount to unbelief. For a one person to have serious questions about something that may be clear to another is taken to be the same as rejecting the thing questioned. Questions in my own life that must be categorized as “doubts” have forced me to study those areas deeper and in more detail than I would likely do if everything was perfectly clear to me. What a wonderful surprise and what a relief awaits those who examine the matter of their doubts. More often than not they discover that there is great hope, even for those who upon occasion entertain some doubt and the fear that so often goes with it. 

Everyone at some time in their walk with The Lord finds themselves in some degree of confusion and doubt. Perhaps it is nothing more than indecision, or maybe perplexity about what the Lord would have you do in a given situation. Every time you are confronted with a choice, and you do not know which way to go, or when you think there is no clear way to go at all, we could say that you are in doubt at that point.  I want to help you to understand what doubt is, how to get rid of it, and how to go on to believe God even in areas about which you do not have perfect insight.

Let us begin by admitting it when we do have doubts. Some doubts are insignificant, and can be removed by simply referring to the Word of God or counseling with brothers and sisters in the Lord. Others are deep rooted, like a recurring nightmare, perhaps calling into question the very existence of God or the reality of our salvation. Most serious we must admit! On the one hand doubts assail brand new converts to Christ and on the other they can pester saints with decades of experience in Jesus behind them.  That this is so should cause us to want to know a little more about the subject.

Our English word "doubt" is in fact from the Latin word DUPLUS, meaning "double".  The obsolete Spanish coin, the Doubloon is rooted in the feminine form DUPLA and was so called because it was pressed in a mold on both sides. This process was a significant advancement in the making of Spanish currency. (Much the same as modern U.S. currency, except the doubloon had real value) This two sided idea is a basic concept of "doubt", which when properly understood will also show the difference between doubt and unbelief. To use a word picture, doubt is “confusion or uncertainty about just what or where the right way is”. Is it "heads" or "tails"? Unbelief on the other hand is "an exclusion or cutting off of the right way". It is to be unwilling to acknowledge "heads up" when it is right in front of your eyes. To doubt is to ask the question "Which way Lord?"  Unbelief on the other hand is to reject the only way offered by God in favor of some alternative that He has not ordained. 

"Quo Vadis" was a  very successful motion picture many years ago. In the movie, the Apostle Peter is an old man who finds himself in doubt about what to do next. At this point, as he stands in a forest, he looks at a glowing tree (reminiscent of a burning bush?) and says "Quo Vadis Domine?"  which being interpreted is "Which way Lord?" hence the name of the movie. I think this illustrates the difference between doubt and unbelief. Peter was obviously eager to do the will of the Lord, but was not sure of the plan.  He knew where he wanted to end up, but was not sure of how to get there. In the movie a prophecy is forthcoming to a child who is with Peter, it instructs Peter to go to Rome. The problem is solved when Peter accepts the Word of God and takes the only route available to him at that point in his life. The one way! Peter must do what he knows is right.              

A very sad case of doubt and despair, possibly mixed with serious mental disorder is the life story of William Cowper, (1731-1800), an English poet, noted especially for his long poem “The Task”. But he is best known by most Christians because he authored the hymn titled "There is a Fountain Filled with Blood" a frequent choice for music during communion. Always sickly and unstable, Cowper suffered the first of many bouts of insanity when threatened with the task of taking an examination for a government post. He entered an asylum, where he found comfort and hope in Calvinist evangelicalism. Cowper moved to Olney England in 1767 to be closer to John Newton, the noted evangelical preacher (Also a hymn author best known to us for the ubiquitous  hymn "Amazing Grace"). The two men collaborated on the Olney Hymns (1779) a projected series of 348 hymns including "God Moves in a Mysterious Way" but the project was interrupted when Cowper suffered another attack of insanity and doubt, convincing him he was damned beyond redemption. Shortly before his death he wrote his most powerful and painful poem, "The Cast-away," asserting his own damned state.  This is extreme doubt, and thankfully not the kind most of us face in our day-to-day walk with the Lord. I have included  a short biography and the words to the hymn below. It is from the Cyber Hymnal at www.crosswalk.com.

In John 13:22 during the Last Supper when Jesus is revealing that some one of the 12 would betray Him, we have a situation where all of the disciples were simultaneously in doubt. Then the disciples looked one on another, doubting of whom he spake. This was 12 men each doubting about the other 12 men including themselves. That adds up to  144 doubts. (literally a Gross situation!) The Greek word used for "doubting" in this verse is Strong's #639 APOREO which is made up of two words, the base of Strong's #4198 POREUOMAI "to go" "to make ones way" plus the alpha privative, which is simply to negate a word by placing an "a" in front of it. (when in English we desire to change the word moral to [not-moral] we only need to add the letter ‘a’ to arrive at the word “amoral”). So these 12 were in fact, according to the Greek, "without a way". They were not in unbelief. They simply did not know which disciple Jesus was referring to when He said in verse 21 Verily, verily, I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me. All the disciples needed to do was to find out who it was that Jesus was speaking about and their confusion would be gone. 

In II Cor. 4:8 the apostle Paul has some doubts. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair The word "perplexed" is the same Greek word as that translated “doubting” in John 13:22 above, and the word "despair" is an emphatic form of the very same verb. While the King James is a good translation, we could paraphrase the verse this way; "We are in 'tribulation' on every side (under great pressure), yet not so hemmed in as to be immobile, we are 'without a clear way' at times, but never 'out of the way altogether' "

Take a look at Gal 4:20 where Paul is speaking; I desire to be present with you now, and to change my voice; for I stand in doubt of you. Two things may be said about this word “doubt” in this context, first, it has nothing to do with Paul's faith in God, and second, the folks he is writing to are unquestionable addressed as believers.  So what Paul doubts or is perplexed about is how these Galatians can give any credence to the Judaizers who followed him into Corinth. The Galatians saw with their spiritual eyes how Jesus was Crucified for them and they certainly were instructed by Paul on exactly what Christ did to set them free concerning the works of the Law. So Paul was, truly "without a way" to explain their willingness to be brought into bondage  to the law again in light of all  this. 

Another important word in the Bible is Strong's #1365, (DISTAZO, from DIS, "twice" and STASIS, "to stand", and means literally "to stand in two ways", "to be at a fork in the road") The obvious implication is uncertainty about which way to take.  It is used of Peter when he began to sink at the sight of the wind and waves in Mt. 14:31 And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?  Peter was uncertain as to whether to trust the weather or to trust the Lord's very own words when He said  "Come" at verse 29. Our doubting disciple made the wrong choice. It is interesting that we always refer to "Doubting Thomas", and yet the Bible does not say that Thomas Doubted. Peter doubted, Paul doubted, the entire company doubted, but of Thomas we must say that he did not believe!  John 20:25 The other disciples therefore said unto him, We have seen the Lord. But he said unto them, Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and thrust my hand into his side, I will not believe.

Let us look at one more word, Strong's #3349, METEORIZO, which means to be "in mid air". You can of course see the English word "meteor" portrayed as something between heaven and earth, namely "in mid air". It is also a word used when a ship is sailing out to sea, since the ship appears to be between heaven and earth because it seems to rise as the distance lengthens between the land and the ship. In Luke 12:29 Jesus desires that His followers learn the valuable lesson that they should not be overly concerned for worldly things but must seek first the Kingdom of God.  He says And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind.  Do not do things halfway concerning the Kingdom, but put all your eggs in one basket.  Be like those creatures of nature that have no choice but to trust God, and you will always find Him true. 

I said I would tell you how to get rid of doubt. And I will. But it takes practice. The more you learn to depend upon the Lord, obeying His Word, following that which you know is right, both by experience in godliness, by the teaching of the Church, and by your own study and confirmation, the more certain you will be when that "Quo Vadis Domine?" presents itself to your mind. 

This is what Paul was teaching in 1 Tim 2:8 when he said I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting. At the risk of being verbose, let me identify just one more word from the Bible. It is Strong's #1261, DIALOGISMOS, a noun that means "doubting" and which expresses a "questioning hesitation" This is where we let our intellect dictate the terms of faith, instead of recognizing that while faith is not unreasonable it is sometimes beyond our ability to understand. When God says it, that settles it! If God says He created the earth in six days, we can either begin to ask, "How did He do that?" or we can say "Amen". If the Bible says Jonah was swallowed by a great fish, we can either receive it as just another fish story or we can marvel at the grace of God, both in that He kept Jonah during the entire three days and nights, and that He extended His grace to the heathen population of Nineveh. Remember too that Jonah was a type of our Lord between the time of His Crucifixion and His Resurrection. 

There is a “world” of difference between Doubt and Unbelief. And it is often the "world" that bridges the gap and turns Doubt into Unbelief. It is an easy path from the former to the latter.  Become as little children. God does not lie. Great is His faithfulness.  Certain is His Word.

                                                                                                Hayden

THERE IS A FOUNTAIN FILLED WITH BLOOD

This is one of the first hymns Cowper wrote after his first attack of temporary madness. Cowper had been promised a post as Clerk of the Journal to the House of Lords, but was dismayed upon learning he would have to undergo a public examination in the House before beginning his duties. The following article from the North American Review, January, 1834, describes his dilemma, and how God prevented Cowper from destroying himself:

As the time drew nigh, his agony became more and more in­tense; he hoped and be­lieved that mad­ness would come to relieve him; he attempted also to make up his mind to commit su­i­cide, though his conscience bore stern testimony against it; he could not by any argument per­suade himself that it was right, but this des­per­a­tion pre­vailed, and he pro­cured from an apothecary the means of self-destruction. On the day before his public appearance was to be made, he happened to notice a letter in the newspaper, which to his dis­or­dered mind seemed like a ma­lig­nant li­bel on himself. He im­med­i­ate­ly threw down the pa­per and rushed into the fields, de­ter­mined to die in a ditch, but the thought struck him that he might es­cape from the count­ry. With the same vi­o­lence he pro­ceed­ed to make hasty prep­ar­a­tions for his flight; but while he was en­gaged in pack­ing his port­man­teau his mind changed, and he threw him­self into a coach, or­der­ing the man to drive to the Tower wharf, in­tend­ing to throw him­self in­to the ri­ver, and not re­flect­ing that it would be im­poss­i­ble to ac­comp­lish his pur­pose in that pub­lic spot. On ap­proach­ing the wa­ter, he found a por­ter seated upon some goods: he then re­turned to the coach and was con­veyed to his lodg­ings at the Temple. On the way he at­tempt­ed to drink the laud­a­num, but as oft­en as he raised it, a con­vuls­ive agi­ta­tion of his frame pre­vent­ed it from reach­ing his lips; and thus, re­gret­ting the loss of the op­por­tun­i­ty, but un­a­ble to avail him­self of it, he ar­rived, half dead with an­guish, at his apart­ment. He then shut the doors and threw him­self upon the bed with the laud­a­num near him, try­ing to lash himself up to the deed; but a voice within seemed con­stant­ly to for­bid it, and as of­ten as he ex­tend­ed his hand to the poi­son, his fing­ers were con­tract­ed and held back by spasms.

At this time one of the in­mates of the place came in, but he con­cealed his ag­i­ta­tion, and as soon as he was left alone, a change came over him, and so de­test­a­ble did the deed ap­pear, that he threw away the laud­a­num and dashed the vial to pieces. The rest of the day was spent in heavy insensibility, and at night he slept as usual; but on waking at three in the morning, he took his penknife and lay with his weight upon it, the point toward his heart. It was brok­en and would not pen­e­trate. At day break he arose, and pas­sing a strong gar­ter around his neck, fast­ened it to the frame of his bed: this gave way with his weight, but on securing it to the door, he was more successful, and remained suspended till he had lost all consciousness of existence. After a time the garter broke and he fell to the floor, so that his life was saved; but the conflict had been greater than his reason could endure. He felt for himself a contempt not to be expressed or imagined; whenever he went into the street, it seemed as if every eye flashed upon him with indignation and scorn; he felt as if he had offended God so deep­ly that his guilt could ne­ver be for­giv­en, and his whole heart was filled with tu­mult­u­ous pangs of despair. Mad­ness was not far off, or rather mad­ness was al­ready come.

After recovering, Cowper came to realize how God can erase the stain of any sin.

There is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel’s veins;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.
Lose all their guilty stains, lose all their guilty stains;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.

The dying thief rejoiced to see that fountain in his day;
And there have I, though vile as he, washed all my sins away.
Washed all my sins away, washed all my sins away;
And there have I, though vile as he, washed all my sins away.

Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood shall never lose its power
Till all the ransomed church of God be saved, to sin no more.
Be saved, to sin no more, be saved, to sin no more;
Till all the ransomed church of God be saved, to sin no more.

E’er since, by faith, I saw the stream Thy flowing wounds supply,
Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be till I die.
And shall be till I die, and shall be till I die;
Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be till I die.

Then in a nobler, sweeter song, I’ll sing Thy power to save,
When this poor lisping, stammering tongue lies silent in the grave.
Lies silent in the grave, lies silent in the grave;
When this poor lisping, stammering tongue lies silent in the grave.